The Deaf Wife Problem

The other day I was at church sitting beside my husband, who is hard of hearing and unwilling to consider a hearing aid. Sometimes I'm patient with acting as a translator when he's unable to hear the conversation around him and does an Elvis imitation: "Huh Huh Huh?"

Sometimes not.

At any rate, that particular church service was particularly interesting as one of the other folks attending was a nearly-stone-deaf woman with dementia. She's gained a measure of fame in the parish as she speaks - loudly - whatever happens to pop into her mind. Usually it's something rather benign, like, "What did he say?" But another case in point: when the priest was speaking at this service, she burst out with, "I'm having a hell of a time hearing him." The church burst out in chuckles, to which my husband replied, "Huh huh huh?"

Elvis.

In stereo.

At any rate, I so enjoyed receiving this email forwarded from my DH this week:

Tom feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.

The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

"Here's what you do," said the Doctor. "Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response...

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Peg, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, '"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Peg, what's for dinner?"

(I just love this)

"For Gods sake, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!"